Would you say your Spouse or Life partner is much like your opposite sex parent? ?

It is said we often choose a mate based on these qualities, just wondering your thoughts?Would you say your Spouse or Life partner is much like your opposite sex parent? ?
I always respected my father for his ethics and honesty as I do my husband. I also love their humor.





They both worked very hard and very up front - what you see with the both of them is what you got.





My Father passed away when he was 68 - my Husband is still kicking but can't do all the things he use to do.





I love them both and so do our kid's.





The problem is . . . our daughter expect their husbands to be - just like their Father.





My husband is - just like my Father was.





Good question.


DeeJay.Would you say your Spouse or Life partner is much like your opposite sex parent? ?
I am the current target, so hope to see you around! resi, all I ask is being removed...It gets old...Good to see all of you! Especially You Dee Jay!

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Resi, I don't know what to say - do you mean you are actually being removed? If so I just plain ticks me off. I don't hardly ask - most are removed. I do hope to see you around. You are a tried and true fiend. DeeJay.

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No, my spouse does not have any similarity to my late father. He


does suddenly have similarities to his late father the older he be-


comes, at this point in time. I chose my mate, for his strong


character, and masculine demeanor, and for his ability to make


sound decisions, knowing what he wanted out of life. I did not want


a 'father figure', but I have known women who have, and played,


'daddys' little girl' to the max. Then years later, as their father figure


aged, they had wandering eyes for younger men..


And promptly left the older man, and married the younger ones.


This can be devastating to an elderly man, whos' young wife takes


off with their child and finds a new relationship with someone in her


own age group. Usually the young wife becomes more active with


outdoor sports and changes her lifestyle to fit that of the younger


man, and leaves her former sedate life behind. Which leaves the


older ex husband visitation rights to see his child in an often awk-


ward situation. But life goes on. And often they can come out of


their estrangement as friends when the dust settles, for the sake


of their child, or children. Life is far from fair.
Yes, psychologists have discovered that most people choose a mate who is very similar to their opposite sex parent. This stems from the fact that we, as children felt comfortable with our parents. So, if essence it's the comfort factor that draws us to our mate's qualities which happen to be similar to your parents' and familiar to you. I suggest you read more Freud, it can give you some good insight.
I would say my partner of 11 years is a lot like my father. He's slow to anger, considerate, kind, has a lot of people that really like and respect him. I have read that people often choose a partner a lot like mom, but not in my case. My mother makes me want to tear out my hair - why would I choose someone like that? She is very critical of me and my friends. She can find fault with a sales clerk or a UPS man. I have always chosen partners/spouses that are not critical of me and other people, and have the same qualities of dad. In my youth, I always sought out men who looked liked dad, light eyes, blonde or light brown hair, slim. After half a century it only matters if they have the same qualities that my father has.
Years ago psychologists, etc., used to believe that. Now they are thinking you actually marry the parent with whom you had the most problems -- you are still trying to solve that dilemma. So if you are female and had a controlling mom, you are apt to marry a controlling man. If it was your dad who was controlling, you are still apt to marry a controlling man. Same thing for a man -- he'll marry a controlling woman, still trying to solve the problem with the parent.
I'm not sure that theory is 100% true. My husband is much different from my father in temperament, personality and drinking habits. I do realize Dad influenced my preference for men who are physically strong, mechanically inclined and not ashamed to work with their hands as well as their heads. None of those manicured, suit %26amp; tie wearing wheeler-dealers for me. Dad's faults also influenced me in my choice of a man to marry. No drinkers or ';gotta hang out with the guys'; types for me, ever.





Thanks for an interesting question. It made me stop and think about it.
I must not fit that mold. I am more like my paternal Grandpa and dad and my wife is almost exactly like her mom. ( Although she married me and I am much like her dad was)





So, maybe my wife married her';dad'; but I think I married my ';mother-in-law';. Think if it applies at all, more so to my wife than me and my wife adored her dad so I didn't see any problem there.





My mom is nothing like my wife and vice versa.
Nope, totally the opposite, thankfully! Because all the men in my family were tall I always pictured myself with a tall man - and one with black hair and blue eyes. Well, my husband has the blue eyes, but he's 1/4 inch shorter than I am and bald. But, the other differences between my father and my husband are vast. Father - pathological liar. Husband - the most honest person I ever met. Father - abandoned us when I was four. Husband - well, you would have to kill him to keep him away from his kids. I could go on, but the short answer is that I married the total opposite of my father.
I think in a way thats kind of true, I haven't really studied it BUT I have heard about it a lot. For example how girls are likely to marry men whom are like their fathers and boys their mothers. Like for example sometimes I notice little things in my ex's which are similar to my fathers that I dislike COMPLETELY!!! Plus I have noticed my last ex's mother was a bit controlling and when I dated him I acted a lot like her for some reason ? 0_o





I wish I really knew?
You darn right ! My opposite gender parent was female and being healthy and with my head on straight I sought a female and have been happy ever since. I found one young enough so I could finish raising her myself. Funny that my Sweetie makes the same claim. Very funny indeed.
In some ways, yes. He's like my dad. Ug!





In some ways, I'm like his mom too. I would have denied it to my death a few years ago...





But, we like the same things. Dislike the same things...





Again, let me just say...UG!
Yes is some ways. Because my parents had a really good marriage and I wanted the same good values as they had. I also was lucky to have married my best friend and soul mate.
Thank God no. My half sister spent her life looking for a man like daddy, she wanted daddy's approval and love and never got from her dad or the men she dated and the two different ones she married.
yes, i think so. we are likely to marry someone who bears some characteristics that left an impact in our life, be it positive or negative.
Not at all! My father was (RIP daddy) small in stature, soft spoken and could fix ANYTHING. My husband is big, loud and mechanically inept, lol.





BTW, I am NOTHING like his mom either (shudder).
He is entirely opposite.
Definitely.
Not really, but I think that he thought I was like his mom when we married. He found out pretty soon that that wasn't the case.
Mine are the opposite in many ways.
No. My father was a pedophile and so are 2 of my 4 brothers


My husband is happy,clean and kind...more like mom :) but not as likely to look the other way on anything :)
unfortunately, no.
I think that's logical...maybe that's why I prefer Native men because my dad was!!!
Nope. My partner is kind. My father was selfish and cruel.
Yes he is very much so.
I married my soul mate, not her Mum.